Walmart
“You know you can go to one of those quick-lube places,” Brady said.
I refused the idea. Who wants to sit in their car for 20 minutes with no place to go? Not me. I have the patience of a six year old. So, what did I do instead? I went to Walmart. Yes, the place where you can buy everything—even clothes. I’m not a huge Walmart shopper; in fact, I get pretty annoyed with their shopper process because of the unorganized crowds. What I mean by this is everyone, even Martha Stewart, should have a list and a map when they go into Walmart, so I don’t have to walk behind that slower-than-slow person that keeps peeking down the aisle looking for honey, nasal strips, chopped nuts.
“How long is the wait?” I asked the automotive assistant.
“About an hour, . . . hour and 15, . . . hour and 30,” he said, changing his mind each time.
“I can do an hour.”
“How about an hour and 15?”
“An hour and 15 it is.” (Yes, I was really negotiating the time with him; this poor man. He did great by the way, being patient, and he did get me out in an hour.)
After he gave me my barcode receipt slip, I turned to the vast array of merchandise. I could have just sat in the waiting room, but that looked like it had been sat in way too much, and I really needed toothpaste. I was going to have to take my chances. I headed out onto the floor. How bad could this really be? I just won’t go by the clothes section.
First stop, the camping section. Yes, the camping section. I haven’t told you, but I’m a bit of an outdoors girl. I love camping, hiking, climbing, anything that involves pitching a tent, getting dirty, and not having to shower and worry about how my hair looks for a couple days. If I had to shop in one store for the rest of my life, it would be Scheels. Ok, let’s get back on track. I was in search of toothpaste. No, there is no special camping toothpaste. I bought a coffee thermos. Just so you know, it was a must have and doesn’t count as an accessory. Last week at work, I spilled my entire coffee travel mug (also purchased at Walmart) all over my desk, including some of my student’s assignments. Funny because I had just got done lecturing them about how their home work should look professional and now most of the papers were soaked in coffee. Good thing I hadn’t graded them yet; I could still make photo copies and replace them without them knowing. (Yes, some of them will know now.) Needless to say, I needed a bullet proof coffee holder that I could throw across the office if need be.
Second stop, toothpaste. And I new exactly which one: Crest with Scope. I don’t do any other toothpaste even if it comes free at the dentist office. If you have tried this product, you know what I’m talking about. Once you go with Scope, you never go back.
Cover Girl Wetslicks fruit spritzers
Third stop, I wavered a bit, shuffling down toward the beauty aisle, then down the beauty aisle looking at lipsticks, glosses, polishes. They weren’t accessories either. But, that doesn’t change the fact that right then if you opened my purse in an inside pocket, you would find two Cover Girl Wetslicks fruit spritzers, watermelon and strawberry, a 260 Heavenly Paradisiaque lipstick, a Sugar Rose tinted and non-tinted lip treatment, and a Revlon color burst lip butter 052 Peach Parfait (I purchased the last one because it looked great on Emma Stone. It also looked great on me. It also looked great on Jon.) . . . All in all, all I really needed was fresher breath, an accident proof coffee mug, and an oil change from Walmart, and that was exactly what I got. I just have to say, “GO ME!”
the Clothing Fast Project 