“Return to Sender”: Much More than an Elvis Song

20% off Maurices Coupon

They come every day from Pizza Hut, Charter, Discover, Fantastic Sams, JcPenny, the new sushi restaurant downtown: promotions, coupons, temptations, more than “oh, my!”  They get shoppers and non-shoppers through their door.  Today it’s a coupon from Maurices; my best friend Stefanie’s beyond-favorite place to shop.  If I had to guess, (She can tell me if I’m on track or way off here.) 75% of her wardrobe has come off Maurices’ rack.

It’s hard not to get sucked into that Tiffany blue wall-to-wall colored store.  They have some great finds if one is willing to weave and hurdle over their congested racks.  They leave no room spared that is for sure, clothes in every color. You want that sweater in robin egg blue, burnt orange, classic cream—you can get it there. And I was the one who, if it looked good, bought it in every color.  Most women do this as if they will never find anything that will fit so good again—like that wool/polyester/cotton sweater was machine made just for them.

I slowly peeled the 20% coupon from the Valentine-themed ad like I had done so many times, like peeling a game piece from a McDonald’s cup, hoping you had Boardwalk to go with your Park Place, but I didn’t have any real estate, just a small drafty house in college area that I pay way too much for. Instead of warming up my roller skate of a car (I drive a Ford Focus hatchback.) to head to the mall, I decided not to play, rip up the coupon, and sing to myself in my slanted kitchen “Return to Sender,” hovering over my trash can as I went through the rest of my mail.